Impeach Obama: August 2013

No more time for humor, I'm afraid. This one hits hard.

It is time to impeach President Obama.

I write this with great sadness. After all, I voted for this man twice for president. In 2008 I was thrilled with the election of our first Hawaiian president. If I'm not mistaken this leaves Alaska, Guam, and the new fun state of Northern Colorado as the only non- president-producing territories.

My euphoria however has lately been replaced by complete disgust over some of this man's recent actions and policies. Luckily, several of our fine Republican Senators and Representatives are on the case and it shouldn't be very long before we can get down to the serious business of impeaching this goofy Hawaiian.

I mean the jobs, the economy, the immigrants, the schools, the budget, the seniors, and the drones are all going to have to wait because we're going full impeachment mode. Not a moment too soon, if you ask me.

Fire up Fox News. Tune in Rush, Glenn, and Sarah. It's going to be a wild ride.

You may ask what evil has this poor man perpetrated to make him worthy of impeachment.

Don't.

Evidently some of our worthy Republicans have found an arcane loophole to the time-honored constitutional impeachment threshold of "HIGH CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS."

It's either the "Governing while black" offense or the "If I say the word Impeachment, many of my constituents will start drooling" strategy.

Either way, count me in. I'm really looking forward to the actual trial. The parade of witnesses should be impressive: Monica Lewinsky, Saul Alinsky, Haldeman and Ehrlichman, The Prime Minister of Kenya, several gay married food stamp recipients, the Cincinnati IRS office, a bunch of "takers" to be named later, and Senator Ted Cruz. I realize that some of these people are dead, but I doubt that will stop the hard charging GOP.

Of course for any impeachment to proceed, a vote must be taken in the House of Representatives. With only a majority of votes needed, that one will pass. I mean with Representatives like Michele Bachmann, Louis Gohmert, Steve Stockman, and Daniel Issa, how could it not?

Once it passes the House, the actual trial will be brought to the Senate. The presiding judge will be Chief Justice Roberts.

People, I just don't think this is going to be a problem...wink, wink.

Of course this little fantasy was inspired by recent comments made by some Republicans at constituent meetings. I assume most elected Republicans repudiate such nonsense, but if I acknowledged that earlier, I wouldn't have much of a piece, would I?

I guess the real point here is that the Tea Party fanatics provide no end of material to brilliant political satirists like John Stewart and Lewis Black, or leftish commentators like Rachel Maddow or Chris Matthews.

Hell, there's even enough right wing crappola left over for a hack like me.

It sure is a good time to have cable.

Ain't life grand?
J

Tidbits: August 2013

...As you can plainly see, I am still unable to take a proper sunset photo. If some sunset photos are breathtaking, I would say in all honesty that my sunset photos are yawnworthy. They make the viewer feel that it was ok to have missed last night's sunset because it obviously wasn't all that special.

...The other day I happened to read about the impending reappearance of the Perseid Meteor Shower. I had seen this magnificent celestial display one other time on a clear cool night in New Hampshire. Ada and I set the alarm for two am, sat out on the deck of our Eastman condo and marveled at dozens of shooting stars. I'd show you a photo of it all but, well, you know. Anyway, I thought it would be fun for Nancy and me to experience this natural wonder, but an interesting change has happened to me since that last experience. I LOVE TO SLEEP! When I went to set the alarm, I couldn't get my fingers to agree. I rationalized that it might be a cloudy night. The Earth might suddenly turn on its axis. I might go  momentarily blind. In the end, I decided to watch the meteor shower on my big ass HD tv. To make up for not getting up in the middle of the night, I turned off the lights and pulled the shades. I'm not proud of any of this.

...If you can make your way over to Marie's Bistro on charming Rt. 30A in Blue Mountain Beach on a Friday or Saturday night, you'll get to hear the music of Ike Bartley and Tim Jackson. You won't be disappointed. Ike plays tenor and alto sax and sings. Tim sings and plays guitar. Assisted by some computer generated background music, these two pros fill the room with familiar tunes like "Drift Away", "Georgia on my Mind", or "Lean on Me." It's impossible not to thoroughly enjoy them. When you combine their music with some wine and maybe a pasta dish or salad, you feel very lucky to be alive. Next to my golf club and the Gulf of Mexico, I think this group is the best thing the Panhandle has to offer.

...The new voting restrictions enacted by the ever-vigilant Republican Governor and Legislature of North Carolina should go a long way toward curbing the epidemic of voter fraud which has recently plagued that proud state. While it may be true that there have only been about three cases of voter fraud in North Carolina in the past 275 years, you can't be too careful. Next on North Carolina's Republican legislative docket: lengthier prison terms for pirates and the removal of the phrases "global warming," "Darwin's theory," and "gravity" from public school textbooks. Rush must be proud.

...Nancy and I will be in England and Mallorca during the last two weeks of October. I mention this because there is a better than average chance that during this same time period, my beloved Boston Red Stockings will be vying for the World Series title against the Atlanta Braves, or Los Angeles Dodgers or, hopefully, Pittsburgh Pirates. Of course before they can get to that point, the Stockings will have to make the playoffs and defeat the other American League opponents, including the mighty Tigers from Detroit. Not an easy task but certainly possible. What will I do if I am unable to watch the Crimson Hose in one of their World Series appearances? Luckily, I'll be in the company of Steve,  Carol, and Jamie Davidson, three of England's most rabid and devoted fans of the Rouge Buskins. Jamie is a bit of a computer whiz, so I'm hoping he can steal a signal or commit whatever minor electronic felony would apply.

...It has been a very rainy summer down here on the Panhandle. As I'm typing this, it's coming down in buckets, sheets and sheets of rain. The delightful forecast for the upcoming week includes six to eight more inches of the stuff. When it rains this much around here, people have a hard time figuring out what they want to do. The elimination of golf, beach, fishing, and swimming pools from the list of available options creates a dearth of possibilities. Basically it's shopping, movies, or an afternoon of "Love It or List It." Speaking of movies, Nancy and I saw "The Way Way Back" the other day and we were both blown away by the performance of Sam Rockwell. I have enjoyed Rockwell's acting since I first saw him in "Galaxy Quest" and "The Green Mile." He's one of those actors you remember, even if you weren't crazy about the film. Anyway, I can now tell you everything you ever needed to know about either listing or redecorating your property. The key is to get on one of these redecorating reality shows! Everything gets taken care of in a half hour and you'll always like the results.

...Years ago I saw the play "Angels in America" in Boston. It was a challenging work. At some point I noticed that author and critic John Updike was sitting next to me. When the play was over,  I was sorely tempted to ask this brilliant man of letters, "Mr. Updike, excuse me but did I like that?" I mention this imaginary anecdote because I can't make up my mind about the Showtime series "Ray Donovan." On the one hand I have been mesmerized by Jon Voigt's brilliant portrayal of Mickey Donovan, a repugnant Boston hood; however, the plot twists have left me dizzier than one of those Michigan people who roll down the Sleeping Bear Dunes. I record the episodes and actually have to wait to watch them until I know I have sufficient energy. During a typical episode Liev Schreiber's character will have to deal with 12 crises. Even Kiefer Sutherland never had to put out that many fires. And he had 24 hours. I wish John Updike were still around.

...I've decided that I was meant to be a low-tech reader and have abandoned the use of my Nook in favor of actual books with pages. I'm not sure why I prefer actual books to the electronic version. Maybe it has something to do with wanting onlookers to know what I'm reading. Maybe I enjoy the act of manually turning a page. Maybe it's the beautiful leather Sam 'n Sara bookmarks I can use.

...Or maybe it's because I don't know how this damn thing works.

Ain't life grand?

J