Standing My Ground: February 2014

Yes sir. From now on I'm "standing my ground."

Consider yourselves warned! As long as I shall be a resident of The Weird State of Florida, I shall be standing my ground.

I've been looking for a law like this for quite a long time.

Thanks to the legislative action team at ALEC, the silly, goofy Koch Brothers, and other strange creatures on the paranoid fringes of the right, Florida has truly embraced this statute.

In case you need a Florida jurisprudence review, last year heartthrob George Zimmerman was acquitted of killing Trayvon Martin. Martin was eating Skittles aggressively so Zimmerman stood his ground and killed him. The brilliant jury found his murder of the hoodied teenager justified. It didn't matter to these 12 genius-citizens that Martin was unarmed or that Zimmerman initiated the confrontation. Martin was walking home while black, which, evidently was reason enough for Zimmerman to stand his ground and kill the teenager a few blocks from his house.

Plus, he was eating Skittles.

That's the first time I realized there is something special going on in this state.

Now we have the case of Michael Dunn, another poster boy for Florida's bizarre law. This dude had pulled into a convenience store parking lot to get some more wine. He and his fiancee had already had a few belts that evening but the night was young. A car full of black teenagers had pulled up near him, playing music loudly. Check that...they were playing music very loudly! Dunn asked them to lower the music. Jordan Davis, 17, told him to mind his business. Dunn went back to his car, retrieved his gun, (as much a part of any self-respecting Floridian's car equipment as a cup holder or Altoids), and proceeded to fire 10 shots into the teens' car indiscriminately, killing Davis.

After standing his ground, Dunn left his ground in a hurry and was found by state police about 125 miles away where he was ordering take out pizza for him and his fiancee.

As one does.

Dunn claims that the shooting was justified because he feared for his life. He claims he saw a shotgun in the car. He is completely without remorse and, from what I can tell, would do the exact same thing tomorrow if the situation presented itself.

A potential problem for Dunn is that no gun, shot or otherwise, has been found. No witness saw any weapon. I'm unaware if there were any Skittles. Dunn, who appears to be about 45 or 50, didn't even tell his fiancee about the alleged weapon until the police showed up.

Now, this sounded like a problem to me, but that was before I heard his defense lawyer explain some of the nuances of "Stand Your Ground" to the jury. It seems that one does not have to be actually threatened to start shooting. All that has to happen is that one "perceives a threat" and then it's BLAM, there will be blood!

If you can convince the police that you thought there mighta been a kinda possible threat, you probably won't even have to go to trial. Heck, if your victim is poor and black, you might be out of that police station while your take out pizza is still hot.

As of this writing, Dunn's jury has been "deliberating" for three days. That's three days this murderer did not have to spend in jail because of this ridiculous law.

A number of Republican-governed states have eagerly adopted this law over the past few years. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that had this incident happened in a non "Stand Your Ground" state, Dunn would already be well on his way toward becoming an institutional man and Jordan Davis's heartbroken parents would feel at least some semblance of justice.

So what does this all mean as far as your humble blogger is concerned? I shall keep close tabs on which states allow us red-blooded Americans to stand our ground, and, when I find myself in one of those states, you all better watch out. Don't be munchin' Skittles near me. Don't be wearin' a hoodie. And definitely don't be playin' your music loud. I won't be (held) responsible for what happens if you do!

Second Amendment Solutions, baby!

Ain't life grand (and precious) ?
J

PS: After this was written, the jury did find this man guilty of four of the five charges. He will be going to prison for a very long time. Ain't justice grand?